


I'd do it for you

by Justafewthingstosay



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Jon can hear everything that Martin says, Jon loves Martin, M/M, Martin visits Jon in the hospital, Sad Martin, Set before Ep 121, Spoilers for Season 3, but shhhh he isn't ready to admit that yet, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:27:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24345757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justafewthingstosay/pseuds/Justafewthingstosay
Summary: Jon was stuck in the hospital, he heard the things that happened around him and Martin was at his bed so often that he can already tell that it's him by his footsteps.He liked that Martin was there and he wanted nothing more than the possibility to go back to him, but he worried that he wouldn't be the same. Wouldn't feel the same. He worried that with what he would be, that there would be no chance that Martin would ever reciprocate his feelings.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 6
Kudos: 71





	I'd do it for you

  
  
  
  
  


Jon heard the telltale creak of the hospital door and he knew that he wasn't alone anymore. 

The steps sounded different than those of the hundreds of different nurses and doctors that came to check up on him every few hours. 

They were soft and gentle. Tentative. 

They were Martin's. There was no other person that would walk into an empty room, with only a person that was technically dead and still be so utterly reliant on courtesy and manners. On being quiet and respectful. On going unnoticed. 

Unnoticed until he spoke up. Until he decided to be seen. 

"Hey Jon, I hope you don't mind if I spend my lunch break here. It's been, lonely without Tim and I don't want to be in archives that much lately and- uhm- and I like to check up on you, you know?" 

The footsteps got closer and Jon heard the soft protest of the heavy chair being pulled closer to his bed. 

He heard the creak of the chair as martin sat down and the thump of his backpack when it hit the floor. 

Then he heard a quiet chuckle. He wanted to ask what was so funny, why he had laughed. But he didn't need to. Martin told him a lot of things nowadays. Things he never told him before. 

"I almost asked you how you've been doing lately until I remembered that you can't answer." A moment of silence followed that sentence. "sometimes I hope I'd just ask you and you’d just sit up in that bed and tell me that 'Everything is just fine martin, there is no reason to be bothering me while I work'" 

If Jon would have been awake, he would have smiled. Martin's impression of him was, good even though he didn’t want to admit it. 

“Its been lonely without you. I mean, Melania is still there and Basira, I suppose, but, it’s not like they like me. I think they would rather have me quiet in the corner and I can’t blame them. I’m not much of a help, but I’m trying to be more helpful. You’d probably agree with them, though, in the end, they are right. I don’t do much but make tea and stand in the corner anyway, while they all get up to do their business.” 

Jon felt an ache in his throat, a telltale sign of tears that he was able to swallow. He wanted to pull Martin into his arms and tell him that he never thought that he was useless, that he knew how much Martin tried and to tell him how glad he was that he was still there. He wanted to take Martins head between his hands and just tell him that he was wrong. 

But he couldn’t. He was stuck on this damn hospital bed. In a coma, that wasn’t even really a coma, a marvel in the medical community. He should be dead. There was no other way to say it, but he should be dead. He shouldn’t be lying here, listening to his  _ former assistant.  _

That wasn’t what Martin was anymore, not really. Martin was so much more than just his assistant. He was someone that Jon trusted, someone Jon wanted to protect. 

Martin was Jon’s friend. 

He wasn’t sure what made him change his opinion on the man, but something must have because Martin was Jon’s friend. Martin was here, checking on him, talking to Jon as if he was still alive as if he hadn’t been in a coma for six months, wasting away. 

Martin still cared, even though Jon had treated him with disrespect and unkindness for so long and had only just started to get better about it awhile ago. 

Jon remembered the tape that Melanie had recorded so long ago, the words ingrained in his brain. 

_ “He should find someone else to fuss over. He’s got it bad.”  _

God that must be months ago now. He wasn’t even sure if he had understood it correctly. If they meant that Martin had a crush on him, if Martin liked him. 

It didn’t really matter anyway. Jon knew that there was only one way for him to wake up from all of this and he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t leave his humanity behind. He couldn’t. 

He didn’t- Even if Martin did like him, which would be quite surprising but Jon wouldn’t be opposed to it, then, well, he knew that Martin would never be able to be with someone that gave up their humanity and Jon couldn’t blame him, not at all. 

Martin had always deserved better than him. That was probably why Jon had never tried. He knew that Martin deserved better and that he would never be able to achieve to be good enough. 

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the door open again and the soft rambling of Martin stopped almost immediately. Jon wanted to tell him to continue, to keep talking, but he wasn't able to. So he had just listened to the work drama, the books that Martin had been reading. It was pleasant, to hear such normality in a world that had destroyed everything they had deemed as normal. 

"Hello," he heard Martin's voice say, he sounded different when he was talking to other people. Less confident in a way. 

  
  


"Hello, I'm sorry to disturb you,” he heard a woman’s voice say as she moved around him. The footsteps that carried her around the room were different, they were fast and determined, she knew where she had to go and what she had to do. 

“I need to quickly need to check your husband's vitals, you can stay, just ignore me," she spoke in a kind voice, a voice Jon had heard before but instead of thinking about that, his brain was focused on one word

_ Husband.  _

“No worries, thank you very much,” Martin spoke in his careful tone. 

_ Husband.  _

There was no denying that Jon liked that word in correlation with Martin, but he really would have wanted to have a chance to say something about it. To be able to say yes. But he knew that it was just a ruse, a lie. Something to feed the hospital staff to make sure that they were contacted first when something happened. 

Jon didn’t have any emergency contacts in his health records, the last person being is grandmother that was now long dead. 

So it made sense to put one of them down as his emergency contact, but as his husband? He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. 

“Okay, all done,” the soft woman’s voice spoke up again and he heard Martin quietly thank her as she walked out and let the door fall close behind her.

“Alright, uhm- I don’t really know what to talk to you about at the moment, my lunchbreak is also almost over and Peter is a lot stricter than Elias on that front, so. I’m going to leave now Jon.” 

The chair was pushed back unceremoniously and he heard the fabric of Martin’s backpack crinkle as the man picked it up from the ground.   
  
“So, this is goodbye, for now at least. I can come back tomorrow or the day after,” he spoke with a sad voice, before adding. “Jon? If you can hear me, would you- would you please just wake up?”

And Jon wanted to, he wanted nothing more but to wake up in that moment and wrap his arms around the man, telling him not to worry. But he couldn’t so he just listened to Martin’s footsteps as he walked out of the room, leaving Jon once again alone. 

There was no one else on his room in the hospital, and he knew that no one would come to check on him anymore.

He was alone, and he was so lonely and for a second, a tiny traitorous second he allowed himself to think that this is what Martin felt like all the time. 

This terrible loneliness that made it hard to breathe under the hospital blanket, that fogged up his lungs and clenched on them. 

He wondered if The Lonely was trying to wrap its cold tendrils around Martin and pull him into the sad existence that was its embrace. 

  
  


The Lonely was the hardest one of them all to fight, in Jon’s opinion, because you couldn't do it alone and that was what Martin was doing right now. At least that was what Jon thought, with the way that Martin had been talking about the others treating him in the office and the fact that he was apparently working with Peter Lukas. 

He was fighting alone. At least Jon hoped that he was fighting it. 

Even if he didnt, Jon had already made a decision, he wasn't going to let Martin fight it alone. Even if erased all possibilities that Jon wished for. Even if it meant that Jon would turn into a monster. He would rather be a monster than leave Martin to fight alone. 

But he still wasn’t sure, he couldn’t know how to make the decision, he didn’t understand. 

As he was trying to come up with a solution, he suddenly heard footsteps approaching. Confident and determined, but they didn’t sound like the soft hospital shoes the nurses wore.

It was someone else.

The door creaked once more and then he heard a voice and everything made sense.    
  


“Um. Hello, John. Do you… mind if I call you John? I, I mean, you don’t actually know me.-”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what compelled me to write this 
> 
> I wanted to make it a lot longer, but I do not have the time to, and its fine like this as well


End file.
